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It’s the end of the semester and I’m trying to be more social before everyone leaves for the summer. I don’t want to be, really. I mean I kind of have an urge to go out and be social. But that is because I’m avoiding studying for my last final. That’s why I’m downloading music right now and writing this also, so I can avoid studying.
I do want to be more social I guess, but I really do enjoy the peace and quiet. Well the peace from the people whose values piss me off and the quiet meaning I don’t have to listen to them talk about how shitty their lives are, when in reality they have got it pretty good.
I went out with some people last night to social study and that was good. I had a lot of fun with them and learned in the process. I am supposed to go out in 4 hours to watch a movie with a girl I know from work. I am not to excited about that either. I am because it gets me out of studying, but they always want to talk and talk and I get awkward sometimes lol so I don’t talk.
There are times when I am very comfortable with people, but there are just some people I don’t feel totally comfortable around. I don’t like it. But I am going to go anyway because she is such a sweet girl and she graduates this year, meaning I will probably never see her again. It sucks, but I am going to see her off tonight.
Being social just takes so much time and energy. I don’t like it that much. Some people I would love to go hang out with 24/7, but some people I just want to avoid like they have the plague.
Do you ever just sit and think about your memories?
Do they ever differ from other memories you have?
There are some memories that I have that I think about differently than others.
When I think about the last concert I went to, I remember everything in detail. I remember the conversations, the people and everything that happened.
When I think about some people I remember things in detail also. I remember some things they’ve said or things we have done together. But then there are the people I don’t hink of like that. Or events I don’t hink of like that.
I think about my ex sometimes. I think about weird things about it. Like sometimes I will say something that we would joke about. And I think about how we would say it. I don’t ever think about waht he looks like. I don’t think abou this name. i don’t think about how he sounds or smelled. I would just think about the certain thing we would joke about or the certain event that happene.d It was never all about him. I hadn’t even noticed that I was doing that until a couple weeks ago. Any time I thinnk about him, it never really is about himj. It is about me and what I would do, he just happened to be there. I don’t picture him or think his name or anything.
If you asked me about Jack Barakat I would picture him, think of my favorite picture and whatever else. But it isn’t like that with my ex. I guess that’s a good thing. I just hadn’t noticed until recently.
I thought it was weird and I wanted to share it. Wanted to see if anyone else thought like this. :/
Ever get the urge to just write a story? I have been lately. I think it is because of the lack of good stories I’ve been reading lately.
Every story I’ve read lately sucks so bad. Well, maybe not sucks.
But it always turns out how I don’t want it to. Or the guy gets so possessive and I really don’t like it.
I have read a few good ones lately, but just not enough. I am really considering writing my own.
Decided to use this as a blog. I’ve been neglecting my tumblr for a while now, but I was thinking about all these random things and I want to write them out somewhere.
Here is that somewhere now.
Just saying.
I have this friend who drives me crazy. I hang out with her because I should, not because I like her. Her and I are opposite people, yet every few days I try and hang out with her anyway. It makes me think, why should I even be nice to her?
Everyone has that friend that they hang out with that drives them crazy. The friend that they don’t even like. It may not be your whole life, but at one point in your life, you have a friend you can’t stand. But why? Why do we hang out with people we don’t like? People who irritate us with every little thing they do. People who you actually try to avoid in your regular day. How do they wedge themselves into your life and become your friend?
In my case, she was a partner in a class and now she is everywhere I turn. I know I don’t like her, I know she drives me nuts, but I still turn to her and ask her if she wants to run to the store with me. I try and blame school for that. I try to say that there are no people around here that I can handle, she is the lesser of all evils. Which in a way is true, but maybe I’m not looking hard enough.
Could it be that we get so set in our ways, that we just figure there can’t be anything better and live with it? Could we just be settling for someone we know isn’t compatible? But why? Why would we deliberately let people we know we can’t stand into our lives? Because of work, school, relatives, other friends, significant others?
This is how we work as humans. We know that we won’t like something, but we do it anyway. We know that something won’t agree with us, but we let it in anyway. Like when you eat buffalo wings, even though you know it tears up your stomach or when you get on a roller coaster even though you know you will throw up. We as humans, do stupid things, yet expect different outcomes, we think things will be different this time. It is trial and error on repeat. We make mistakes, we are supposed to learn from them, but we never do. We always let someone into our lives that isn’t going to make us happy. That in the end will drive us mad. You can’t change the outcome. Five times five will always be twenty-five. You and someone who has different values than you, will always get on each others nerves.
Next time you decide to let someone into your life think about it. Before you hang out with that friend you can’t stand, reconsider. Don’t blow them off, but think about it first, do you really want to continue a friendship that just irritates you? Will it really be worth it in the end? Even if it doesn’t seem like it at first, you don’t have to have people in your life you don’t like. It’s your life, so why spend it with people who bring you down?
You know when you go looking at photos on any random website, then you see this really pretty girl with amazing hair and you are like ‘oh, I wish my hair looked like that…’ I finally feel like I am that girl for myself.
I finally got my bangs right and my hair length is perfect and my layers are great. I feel like everything about my hair is exactly how I want it and I love it.
I don’t look at other peoples hair anymore and think ‘I wish my hair looked like that.’
I look in the mirror and think ‘Damn, my hair looks smashin’ today!’
Well normally I don’t use the word ‘smashin” to describe it, but you get the point.
I am happy with my hair and actually pretty happy with myself all around. I’m feeling beautiful from the inside out. I am who I want to be, I look how I look and I like it. I am me and I am amazing.
Honestly, there isn’t a thing a thing that I would change about myself. Except maybe my nail polish. I’m thinking dark blue? Not sure yet.
But I am pretty happy with myself. It took me almost 21 years to become who I am and become so happy with myself. I wouldn’t change my past views on myself because it got me to where I am now.
I am a strong, beautiful, independent, confident young lady and I don’t need anything else in my life right now. (Except maybe a little more All Time Low…)
Confidence is beauty and I am full of it whether other people agree with me or not.
I don’t understand why authors make girls so useless sometimes. Is it too much to ask to have something different? I am tired of reading stories of girls who get overpowered because some guy. Or all these powertrips. Or a girl who is so dependent on others, she can’t even survive without a man. Or a girl who thought she was independent and turns out she meets a guy, falls in love and hangs on his every word. Why do the girls always have to lose everything and become so depressed and worthless? Why do they have to have a guy come fix it?
I want to read about a strong independent female, who can handle her shit and doesn’t let some douchebag guy tell her what to do. A story where the guy doesn’t even try to tell her what to do, but isn’t a submissive baby either. Then again, who said girls NEED guys to be happy? Is that really too much to ask???
I wish I could say it’s because I read the same types of stories all the time, but I do branch out I try all different genres. Yet lately, every time I turn around some stupid girl can’t hold her shit together and has to be dependent on someone else. Or some stupid guy fucks everything up somehow. Ugh!
I want someone independent dammit!
That is all…
Decided that when I fine my next mate. Yes, mate. That they need to understand I need space and alone time sometimes. And I am independent, therefore you will not be telling me what to do. I will continue to do my thing, but you can be included in my life, if you so choose to be. I am my own person, no one will tell me what to do. End of story.
